iLOVEyou (:

2006-08-12T04:50:00.000+13:00

why does everyone keep asking me to do things i just cannot be asked to do? stupid things like cheering up. as if i wouldn't do it on my own if i could right.

just leave me alone?

2006-08-11T17:19:00.000+13:00

going to watch my super ex girlfriend today ( :

yesterday watched 'click' with kim at shaw. then i got a pair of cool shades from topshop. then i thought i was going to spend 40 dollars. HAH but in the end it was on sale. what a joke! i couldn't stop laughing, then bumped into shuwen and joy koh! they just got back from class outing. funny!

and yesterday i saw this guy who look so FREAKISHLY like sebasti!

2006-08-06T18:53:00.000+13:00

Cause when you kiss me
I feel everything that I been missing
I try to slow down but my heart wont listen
And its tearin me all up inside
And when you touch me
I feel a rush but I'm afraid that it might crush me
Should I put my trust in somethin I dont trust in
I try to run but theres no place to hide
Cause baby kisses dont lie

so little school this week (: then its ahpa's birthday on the 12th. jons and felly's birthday tomorrow.

2006-07-29T00:48:00.000+13:00

You give me strength
You give me hope
You give me someone to love someone to hold
When I'm in your arms
I need you to know
I've never been
Never been this close

With all the loves I used to know
I kept my distance I never let go
But in your arms I know I'm safe
'Cause I've never been held
I've never been kissed in this way
You're all I'll ever need

i miss my baby so much. ahh cheebye. heheheh. ah today i had chem. marlina was being such a bodoh all through class. hah but i love my ah bung :P then i took her mp3 up to my room cos i found i really WOW song:

PULLING ME BACK
BY CHINGY FT. TYRESE

Ah huh. then she had to come up to 3rd floor to get it from me. when she's actually not allowed to come up. heh. the things i make people do for me. alamak now i'm starting to feel bad. then apparently last night for the concert at botanics tiffany dressed really badly. which shocks me cos that really does NOT sound like her. like the bung bung i know. but oh well. then omg julie and i were laughing the ENTIRE night it was sooooo funny all the shit we talked about. and the pontianak was so pissing annoying seriously. urgh. then today she kena scolding from aunty ros. AW (: stupid idiot!

OH! yesterday was NIQI'S BIRTHDAY! my favourite girl :D

dress night was awesome!

2006-07-28T18:04:00.000+13:00

baby everything about you is so beautiful ( :

meeting kim at pacific plaza at 3! lalalalla.

2006-07-23T15:11:00.000+13:00

meeting bernn at church soon. hahahah last night kim was so fuckin drunk ahmagawd. then bern and celene had to take care of her and everything! hah. mm then later after church i'm going with mummy for high tea at intercontinental, yay ( : yumm!

2006-07-21T04:44:00.000+13:00

hhahahha YAY HE CUT HIS HAIR! my sexy ( :
love you my baby sebasti! <3 kisses and kisses!

my mommy's such a cutie! we're going to buy grass jelly from the prata shop now. byeee!

2006-07-21T04:31:00.000+13:00

hahhaha i think its amazing how things spread. but anyways ( : met him in church! i love my sebasti i really do. hah. but recently has been alright i guess. things coming along well and everything. school's alright and stuff. exams coming soon study study study!!! going out with kim tomorrow. then its drinking at cafe iguana on saturday. then sunday going for high tea :D at hotel intercontinental.

THEN. study study study ( :

sunday is kim's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG TOTAL LOVE! :D

2006-07-03T00:52:00.000+13:00

just got back from MILK RUN (: ahh so bloody fun luh. not that i ran or anything. you must be joking. heheh! i went there and i had to call mummy grace a million times before finding them. i went to say hi to the runners then went over to karen they all. THEN like, my mom called and said she was at the coffee shop with the bung bungs and everyone. so i walked over. AWWWW. i caught them smoking their asses off. hahaha.
then my mom didn't wana go into the sun right. so i went with the bungs and doris they all back to the milk run. then we watched all the different weirdos finish the race and shit.

DEVI CAME IN SECOND! AND YU TING THIRD :D yay!
supercool!

then HAH! kim was drinking jowin's H2O(: then like i thought she finished drinking so i took it from here then starting gulping it down. THEN she was like ' i haven't finished drinking luh you IDIOT' then i mean i just had to laugh. so like my hand was covering my mouth so tight that when it all came out it came out all over my face, ALAMAK. hahaha but damn funny. then tiffany and everyone was like laughing they're ass off. HEHEHEHE. so bloody fun.

going back to ag soon. tiff is calling me tonight. we have alot to talk about (: she's so cute.

2006-07-02T14:44:00.000+13:00

hahhaha okay i like going to ag now (: cos thats where the cutie tiffany is. nana and julie are going quite crazy with all my obsessions. ahh! not my fucking fault. then last night i told tiff. and she totally didn't believe me so she's going to check with juliana and nana. BLAH. fine then. but she's just going to find out its true. she's peroforming at zouk today for the milk run. maybe i should go watch. and pass her her birthday card and shit.

yesterday sebastian had a match at school of the deaf at fuckin 9 in the morning. i was going to go but then could not be bothered. good thing too cos he didn't go. HAH yes i'm smart. so yesterday i spend the whole day thinking about tiffany and then calling juliana and screaming :D TSAWWWWWW!!! my mom thinks i'm mad. but then she always has. so yeah. she's mad too. thats why she's my mom. LIKE TOTALLY DUHHHH. sex bomb!

going back to ag tonight (: TIFFANY TIFFANY. but i guess i still miss him and love him and stuff. ah well. we'll just see what happens. after the case we'll talk it out and figure everything out properly. cos i just cannot be asked to waste my time.

KIM IS COMING BACK TODAY! OMG WE'RE TOTALLY TEH SEXXXX! :* yumm.

2006-06-20T06:36:00.000+13:00

I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

goodbye my lover;james blunt

i miss him so much. biatch i'm dying help me.

i watched ice princess with mummy today ( : it was fun. then i like i didn't really do anything the whole day. just think listen to sad songs and mourn with chu. i think i might go sleep soon. i don't wana go back to the home luh!!!! i like being at home. its so much nicer than ag pang sai. sigh. ah well. and i have more things to do here other than think of him. but on the other hand there are more memories here. fuck.

2006-06-18T22:43:00.000+13:00

everythings so complicated. i don't get it. why? why does everything always have to screw up? i really, for the first time in my life, i actually just don't know what to do anymore. at all. no idea. i used to be able to control how i felt, the things i did. but i can't anymore. emotions, actions, words are just being thrown out all over the place now. and now its not just my stuff anymore, theres the whole jan and rich thing. she says just leave it, maybe its not so easy to just leave things that matter alone to me. i don't know, maybe its just me i guess. its times like this i really wish i remembered how to count my blessings. cos i used to know how to do that. till now. maybe i just don't have anything left. everything is gone. everyone's left. thats how it feels even though i know its not true. it would be so much easier if i could pick someone other to blame for everything other than myself. it is my fault. i know it is. but that doesn't make it any better unfortnately.

I think that when you love someone too much, your life starts to fall apart and theres just nothing that you or anyone else can do to stop it. cos very honestly, i don't know what to do without him here. nothings going right. i know he's part of it but i just wish he could be here to help me out. to just give me something to hold on to. cos at the moment i have nothing. zero. and i'm falling into something too deep to be alone in. its just too fucking deep. i can't handle it on my own. i just wish he could see that and do something about it at the same time. instead of just waiting for me to crumble.

2006-06-10T05:28:00.000+13:00

he's gone. he'll be back in july, just like hweeli. mm well things are falling apart. still. just falling slowly slowly, but surely. yeah they're falling. they're going to keep falling too. for the rest of my life. and soon enough, my life will be left as rubble. like the fucking 911 incident. except unlike the twin towers, it won't be able to be built up again.

2006-05-22T20:05:00.000+13:00

i don't understand. why is everything falling apart?

2006-05-20T19:15:00.000+13:00

i found out that one of my supposed really really REALLY good friends isn't all that good of a friend. i mean like what the fuck what kind of friend would think that. nd say that kinda thing. ah well. (:

going to meet jonah, his cousin nd ramos soon! i have like five bucks left from last night. five. then theres indochine tonight. i wonder if i'll be awake enough to go. gona meet franco there. OH YEA. have to meet franco for the id thing. shiet. okay cool. nd today i woke up with really bad hair! HAHHAA it was quite funny. so cool. so bouncy. PLUS i just realised how long more it'll be till hweeli comes back again. so sad ): i want her back shes such a sweetheart.

so sebastian has gone to get malaria tablets for kenya. soooooo mafan.

2006-05-19T05:46:00.000+13:00

i just got back from jan's. she got pissed cos i asked someone to come over nd i wasn't in the mood for it so i left. also so he could come over but in the end he was too tired. i'm supposed to call him but hes not picking up. what am i supposed to do? feel loved? damn right i do..

after all this time
i never thought we'd be here
never though we'd be here
when my love for you is blind
but i couldn't make you see
that i loved you more than you'll ever know
part of me died when i let you go

i miss him so much. alot of stuff has happened. alot of it also wasn't that good. so much is going on at once its really pretty hard to handle everything. i feel like shit. i miss the people i love nd understand me. like its one of those times when you need the people who can't be there, nd its really annoying since they're not there even though they could be. but they just aren't. i guess he can't be here though. never mind it doesn't matter. i feel bad he hung out the whole day nd played poker i know hes tired. but we have so much we really need to talk about. so much. like, too much. we couldn't finish talking about it the other day cos he had to go up already in case he go caught. the other day found out a bunch of shit i wish i hadn't. i couldn't handle knowing all that. not then. not now. but i have to deal with it. trying not to think about all that shit but its not that easy. ahh well. i'm such a loser. pouring everything out on this dumbass blog thing.
sissy.

2006-05-12T02:52:00.000+13:00

SHIT i just saw this REALLY hot picture of him on boonyao's friendster. SHIT.

2006-05-08T06:10:00.000+13:00

i love him.(: LET ME TELL YOU. I LOVE HIM. and maybe thats all you need to know. hah. woah i miss him like shit. i can't see him tomorrow or tuesday. maybe tuesday. i'll have to see. but wednesday we're going BEACHING. oh yes baby yes we are. then he's going to help me with my balancing equations shit. my sexy!!!

2006-05-08T05:45:00.000+13:00

okay so today there was the esplanade then marina. and then m:i:3. which was good but not ALL THAT if yea know what i mean and then there was getting to church which consisted of quite a spot of walking. then i after he left his shirt with me so i had to ruuuuuuun to him to give it back. which was followed by a half an hour long wait for my dad to pick me up. AND there is an important history test which i'm having tomorrow that i also haven't studied for.

how bloody wonderful. and at the moment i'm not feeling very sure of myself somehow. don't ask why. but like yea things just haven't been going all that great i guess.

mindchamps is a total drag most of the time. i don't know why i let my mom make me go there. all the stupid techniques. God.. but oh well. just make her happy so that she doesn't tell me that my whole weekend was a waste. not like she can, when half the weekend i'm at the fucking toa payoh HDB hub. the only good thing that has happened this weekend is, i got to see him and that i now have internet access in my room. sadly i can't have everything so i don't. but i have to say that the today at approximately 3.13 in the morning i had a very good time (: oh yes i did. something very different happened then what usually happens at that time. so it was cool. very.

oh. and i came to a conclusion that:
falling in love isn't something you should do until at least 25

too bad i can't follow my own advice.

2006-05-04T17:22:00.000+13:00

we need to talk things through

everything sucks. but oh well (: i'm getting used to shit like this.

2006-04-27T13:34:00.000+13:00

school sucks. we have science prac today i don't wana take it i'll die die die. and i feel sick again, this is so bad. i feel like shit but still alot better from last week. i regret getting drunk it really like screwed my immunity up. and no wlike hweeli has gone back to london for now again. so sad i miss her shes such a sweetheart.

I LOVE MY BABY I MISS HIM OMG )):
last night i went all the way to toa payoh so i could pass him a hairclip. BUT I GOT TO SEE HIM :D so it was well worth it while we stood beside the traffic light waiting for it to turn purple.

2006-04-13T13:26:00.000+13:00

shit we moved back to mummy's place nd now theres no computer which doesn't belong to the bastard so i have no computer to use. life is so sad i swear to God. )): in school now in the mac lab fiddling with this garage band thingy for sk&i's music project. its pretty cool to meddle around with i have to say. the EMPOWER U program was amazing(: i made lotsa new friends. then i'm going with anders to mind champs on the 22nd. thank goodness we're in the same class i don't know what i'd do if we were in different classes. LUCKY ME. hah! but i remember during he could be such a penisface.

recently things have been.. hectic. :D no school on friday. been having lots of fun since hweeli's been back. she's my PRINCESS!! i love love love her. we watched reincarnation the other day i swear its the scariest shit i've ever seen. i mean generally i love scary movies but that one was too much my gosh. its put me off for life. or at least a very very long time. shiet.

2006-03-22T21:29:00.000+13:00

he came over yesterday in the end(: heh yaye. it was fun. he showered. then he had to wear my irish st patricks day parade shirt. so cutie. i swear. omg i have so much homework to do. like, i have 3 essays to finish up. nd i have all the geog stuff. shits i'm going to die.

2006-03-21T13:45:00.000+13:00

if this is meant to be

don't condemn me to be free

and even if we never marry

i'll always love you baby

childishly

cos something

theres something i can't resist

things are what they will be

when i look in your eyes

they say to me that God's do exist

and theres something

something i can't resist

things are what they will be

when i look in your eyes

they say to me God's do exist

you make me believe

something, shakira((:

last night was listening to his shakira cd the whole night. cos i couldn't sleep. missed him too much. i can't see him til saturday i don't know how i'm going to live through it. anyways i'm in school now. having double chinese. we're supposed to do this silly cdrom activities nd shit. hah not that i have to do laa. the past few days i moved back into mommy's house cos the renovation is finished. its nice to be home again. nd so far i haven't been late yet. but yea its only been 2 days. school sucks. i've come to that conclusion. tomorrow the whole class has to run the ten rounds. can die. i don't wana move. but i do wana be first. so yea tomorrow after that i have to go see ms sharlin. maybe after that i can go see him. thursday i have training. urgh. friday too. maybe i can see him for a while after training on friday. hee. i'll see. then sometime soon i have to go for this mindchamps course thing. shits. this sucks. seriously.

2006-03-14T23:49:00.000+13:00

feel like shit today. don't ask me why. why doesn't everyone just go swim with morin when they're free. fuck(: she's hell more fun than i am.

2006-03-13T19:28:00.000+13:00

This morning my Granny woke me up nd asked me what time training was. Then I told her 8am. Then she was like, 'Well, if you're going to take the usual 45 minutes to get ready you better get up now.' So I got up nd she drove me to school. I had just gotten out of the car when I saw all the primary schoolers jumping around nd I realised that I didn't have training today. I wanted to die. All that time i could have spent sleeping. Fuck.

Anyways I have to go for Ailing at 3.30pm til 5. Then I have to go meet Sebastian. Since someone has no credit in his phone AND no money. So being the helpful person I am, I'm going to help him out :D Cos I'm so kind duh. Mmhm. Then tomorrow I really have training then going to Roundbox for this talk nd that talk.

Holidays are gona suck. So fucking busy the whole week. I could just die I swear. Anything fun, nice, cool happening this week? Not really. Romp. Phuture. Hannah's birthday party. I don't know. All just okay. Seb had better fucking go. Hah. Otherwise he diiiiie!! AND he'll owe me a plentiful flow of money. Ding dong! I want mummy to come back from the jungle! I miss her so much. Her special Mummy hugs. Nd Mummy kisses. Her nd all her Mummyness. All so lovelayee.

2006-03-13T04:42:00.000+13:00

Someone's gotten me stuck on 'Ghost Of You'
Charles you stupid piece of shit (:

2006-03-13T02:43:00.000+13:00

I'm fucking tired today. I missed going to church with Granny cos i took too long in the shower to get ready. Then last night didn't make it to 'Cry Wolf' nd neither did Seb cos we both fell asleep. Anyways after i finished getting ready I was just in time to go to mass at Church Of The Holy Cross. So i went to pick Seb up nd we went together. After mass we went to town. We watched 'Date Movie'. It was sooo frickin funny i nearly died. Watch it =) its worth it biatch.

Before i forget to mention.. Sebastian looked super hot in the shirt i got him yesterday. My sexy. Okay well anyways after the movie we went to HMV across the road to get the pcd cd for Hazel. Since i broke hers in half. Which is quite sad but like yea.

Then we went to Takashimaya. I got bubble tea since I couldn't figure out where the nearest starbucks was nd I didn't really feel like looking for it. Then we went to where there was the soft volleyball tournement thingy. Seb slept on my lap for about an hour cos he had a headache the poor baby. Then we went to my mom's place. It was locked so Seb climbed up the grills, into my room balcony. From the middle roof he climbed into my bathroom nd then went downstairs to open the door for me. He's like a fucking monkey i couldn't believe it. Hah. So anyways we hung out there for a while. Then i had to get back to my Granny's place nd his dad's friend was at my Granny's place waiting to bring him over to her's. So yea. Then Mr Ang came over for tuition at eight. I was so fucking tired the whole thing omg. Then i got goddamned prank call from some acsi bastard. Fuck man. Oh well (=

I miss Mummy so much. Leon, Noel, KW nd mummy are all in the jungle in Taman Negara. I only miss Mummy. Nd i can't wait till we move back home omg. Seriously. I miss home so much!

2006-03-12T01:52:00.000+13:00

Going for 'Cry Wolf' soon with Sebastian. =D Today i got a jacket nd top from Mango. Had a chicken foldover earlier on. I feel so super fat its quite unbelievable. Tuesday training is starting. Four bloody hours, I think they want us all to die before competition.

2006-03-09T02:22:00.000+13:00

its been forever since i blogged. oh well. WOOPS =p
camp was the best. charles is a funny assholish idiot :D so cutie.
he dances so sexy<3>shites.

i wana go kayaking biatch.

khong took my muthafucking notebook.
how am i supposed to remember all my homework now aye?
crazy ass. i don't know what to do now. HELLO? my notebook.
while i was writing lyrics. whats the big shit.

its the motherfucking d-o-double-g!

2006-02-17T23:09:00.000+13:00

i feel uber trapped now. like, all of a sudden. sigh. i miss him. i didn't see him yesterday OR today. i'm not going to get to see him tomorrow either. stupid grounded idiot ): urgh. now my curfew is at eight. thats frickin early. i don't know how i'm going to do this but i'll have to somehow.

i hate school now-a-days. its just, like, i mean its not really run. there isn't anyone who really knows me that well there. i'm not sure about anything now. hweeli is barely here. jan, i really don't know if i'm supposed to be as close to her as i used to be. kailin, i've pretty much lost her to chu. i only know that i have him. but i really need him now. and he's really just not here. i mean i know its not his fault nd all but it really sucks. i really really want him here with me now. he's actually seriously all i need for now. urgh! this is killing killing killing me.

but yesterday nd the day before i hung out with hweeli ((: that was really uber fun. its so good to have someone who knows me really well. someone that i know i can trust nd talk to about anything nd everything. oh nd then yesterday i met michael as well. hahaha so cutie. he's so adorable. his tattoo is so yummy. ding ding. hweeli nd i hung out with michael for a while yesterday. it was quite fun. mhm. but i really did miss him loads. yesterday hweeli nd i watched 49 days. it was scary. heh. nd the day before we watched the fog which was uber good as well. whee.

i have like nothing to do now nd i'm so uber bored. nd i'm about to burst into tears cos i miss him way too too much. its really scary how i actually love him alot. like, when hweeli saw me with him, she was like, "OH MY GOD YOU REALLY LOVE HIM." haha it was funny. i was like, em yah doh. nd then i engraved his name on this thingy that he could wear on his wrist. so cool! haha i like. i think i'm going to engrave more stuff. it really makes the present special. yum.

FUCK ME PLEASE. I MISS HIM! )': i never knew i could ever love anyone this much

2006-02-16T06:13:00.000+13:00

Valentine's Day was so amazing. He brought me to Equinox in Raffles The Plaza Hotel. The whole thing was gorgeous. Then he sent me preeeeetty flowers. And I don't know but somehow just everything was so perfect.

2006-02-01T00:16:00.000+13:00

Aite well its been a while. Last Friday there was a 6prudence '03 reunion. I went there with Ramos cos i had only just met him nd i hadn't seen him for a long time. After reunion, Hannah, Kim Kan, Ramos nd i walked from Tanglin to the bus stop nd took a bus to like, Shaw. Then we walked to the MRT station to go see some girl. Haha i didn't know who she was. Hannah's friend. Ramos kept complaining about how hungry he was so i said bye to Hannah they all nd we walked to Cine nd he ate burger king((: which i just stole a little bit of. Then we walked to like, behind the MRT station there where theres this circle thing. We hung out there nd talked til like i don't know what time. Then my dad picked me up from the Heeren taxi stand.

Saturday i don't remember what happened. I remember that i was supposed to go to Kai's place but then i forgot. Then i was talking to her on the phone nd i remembered =P in the end Ramos came over for a while. But then he was scared of my Granny nd stuff (no surprise) so we brought my brothers to Katong Park so that they could play at the playground. Then Leon was saying how embarrassed he was because it looked like Ramos nd I were the mommy nd daddy nd that Noel nd himself looked like our children. What the hell. Then my daddy picked us up from there nd we went to reunion dinner nd Ramos went to Jonah's place to have dinner with their family in Orchard.

Sunday....... in the late afternoon Ramos came over. I couldn't go visiting cos i kinda had gastric flu. So we hung out at my place while he ate all my food nd watched cartoons nd stuff. Then he got chased out of my room by my granny. After my parents nd i dropped him at the Campbells, we went to Labrador Park to walk around. Even though i kinda wanted to go home cos i was tired. My dad was saying how if Ramos didn't have a curfew he could have come nd made out with me by the beach. I mean what the fuck. What kind of dad says that??? Seriously. After that we went to Adam Road Food Centre nd pigged out. Then i went home nd collapsed.

Yesterday Carol nd i watched Memoirs of A Geisha. Then we were hanging around the Great World macs till Ramos came. Then we moved to Coffee Bean so that Carol could get her Non-coffee Pure Vanilla with whipped cream on top. After she was done we went to Watsons then Zara then Carol needed to go to Kenny Rogers to book at table for her family. We left her from there nd went to Cine since Ramos wanted to watch a movie nd there were none left at Great World. We ended up watching Cheaper By the Dozen 2. It was funny (: I dropped him home then went home by cab since my parents were getting drunk in some pasir panjang pub.

Today i met Carol and Karen at Far East. Then we went to eat at Subway, we had so much fun there talking about all kindsa shit. We walked around then Karen nd I got this pretty gold pouch thingie at Livia. After, we walked to American club nd met Tatiana, and Angela. We also met Micheal Too, William Bradly, Conner nd i dono who else. Oh Ramos came too =p then everyone went home so i dropped him off at the hotel nd came home (: yay. how fun.

2006-01-24T00:14:00.000+13:00

i actually haven't really blogged properly in a long time.

lets see. wednesday, omg i don't actually remember what i did. i think after school i just went straight to the hospital. nd i think i stayed there like the whole frickin day. then max nd zhenwen came also. nd krissy nd the campbells nd some other people. then thursday nothing much. had training. i left a little bit early i think. then i went to the hospital again. then the campbells saw me again. then mr campbell was like, 'okay we're going to leave you two some privacy. don't make too much noise. anyway when two lips meet there isn't usually much noise.' wth. haha! so cute. he's so fat. cutie. then yea. friday had training again. after beam me nd lez went to the weights room. i ran 1.6km for fun. not fast or whatever but hey its something. that after that we went to town. we met darryl nd mia nd dono who what shit. it was quite dumb. ha. then like, darryl wanted to buy these really ugly ugly shoes from the shop outside heeren. yuucky. then we walked to paragon nd went to burberry nd then i really had to go to the hospital. nd lez kept telling me to not go nd see the penisface. BUT I MISSED HIM. so ya. so we walked to the taka taxi stand. the qeue was fucking long nd was barely moving. then darryl met us there again so that he nd lez could share a cab home. lalala. then saturday i was waiting for mommy the whole day. in the end we didnt go out nd i went to the hospital. slept there. yumm yumm i miss my baby. next morning went home nd blah blah. sunday i slept alot. then when i woke up i talked to him a little bit. then i don't know. em.. yea nd it was leon's birthday so i wanted to go get him his present nd then bring him to see my crabacrite. in the end mommy nd daddy came nd we went to united square nd ate genki sushi. later we went to toys r us nd i got leon what he wanted. cutie. then i begged mommy nd she let me nd leon go see him. haha yay! so cool. but then like the two of them were scheming nd stuff. so terrible yea. anyways yea thats what happened. then today school was so stupid. he got out of the hospital. good for him i'm glad he's all okay nd stuff. my hunnie bunny. i miss him so mushhh!

oh yes i do (:

2006-01-18T21:43:00.000+13:00

today i went home from school early cos like, i had a tummy ache nd it was really painful. ah. then i came home nd had a really bad dream. i don't remember what it was but it was bad yea.

then today bowness came in. nd she was saying how during rap we couldn't talk nd everything. we couldn't do group work or anything like that nd something about writing what you want to accomplish during the period in an ugly red file. i got a shock. cos last yr lao shi told us that rap was rest and play so i said to mrs bowness: "BUT mrs bowness! i thought it was rest and play!" then everyone who wasn't in one gr last yr nd bowness were like, laughing at me. then bowness was like, " what rest and play!? its revision and preperation". fuck. thats a big difference. so jack.

then yesterday after i studied at burger king ((: all my preety notes, i went to the campbells. ramos had a ulcer in his eye. okay he still has it. poor sweetie. so he couldn't see me. ha! he looked so cute in his glasses. then we were all watching the red carpet moments, he was like; okay whoes on now? who is that? whats happening? silly silly. just open your other eye hunnie..

2006-01-17T13:08:00.000+13:00

yesterday was so fun((: it was sarah's birthday nd everything. then there was a cake nd she was so happy nd stuff. frickin cool. it was nice to see her so happy. then after school i waited for sarah then we walked out together with lex nd brenda. then i went with my mommy to the env building for lunch where there were alot of jikopehs! so grossie. then after i went to see ms sharlin to arrange the curfew stuffies with my mom then she dropped me at ramos' place. he so stupid. he couldn't do all his bench presses. 80 pounds 15 times. but he was too weak! nd he doesn't know how to count. i told him i would count for him. one.. one.. one.. one.. two((: tthen he dropped it. he's stupid :D i love him.

2006-01-16T14:16:00.000+13:00

in school now. yesterday was at jan's house with ramos nd her. ((: we went swimming nd stuff. it was so much fun. mhm.

2005-12-23T04:39:00.000+13:00

today sucked. yesterday sucked. i'm really pissed nd i hate everything
somebody please just kill me. i really just don't know what to do, say, think.
i just don't know anything anymore! someone stole my phone too.
everything sucks(: please kill me. i just wana die.

2005-12-19T04:51:00.000+13:00

hung out with my girls today(: it was awesome. we learned how to open our breezers with a railing. hahahha it was hilarious! we had so much fun. i don't feel like blogging bout it though. later(:

2005-12-16T19:28:00.000+13:00

okay. cancelled with carol as well. this really sucks. i have no mood to do anything.

seb was online just now. so is kai. i was so happy at first. but then kai got mad at seb cos he kinda insulted chu sheng. then seb got upset cos i was telling him about how busy i am during term time. then we might be doing this salsa class together. maybe. but i'm going to be uber busy so we don't even know how often we can meet. sigh. anyways. hmm

don't really have the mood to do anything
just chatting with chu sheng now
really bored.really sad. really miss him so much! )':

2005-12-16T06:30:00.000+13:00

Ireland was a beautiful place. The sky was always bigger nd bluer x x

jan anna & kai :D
the sweetest hunnies ever!

2005-12-16T05:41:00.000+13:00

harry nd i cancelled the thingy today. then i didn't go out with chu sheng either. i emailed kai nd stuff. had dance at round box. it wasn't bad i guess. not amazing but not bad i guess. we did hip hop nd flamenco which was kinda cool cos i never really did much of flamenco before.

then this morning talked to seb on the phone. we were arguing over who was more spoilt nd who the spoilt brat was. DUH him. i mean i'm not the one half way across the world spending loads nd loads of money nd travels round the world every year. nd not only that but like, he slept for like, three whole days in new york. i mean like, double-u tee eff! sheesh! i NEVER get to do that. whether i've got a 40 degree fever or i'm vomiting blood. NEVER EVER EVER. asshole. haha the lucky bastard. sheesh. dude, he couldn't even think of any particular reason of why i would be spoilt. the silly twit (;

so tomorrow going to carol's school. gorsh. gota get up at about half six or before that. otherwise i'll never get there in time. she had better have told the people i'm going. otherwise i won't be able to go in cos they'll think i'm a terrorist. which i don't really look like but that doesn't matter.

sigh. well just now i was pigging out. i feel so sad. thats why tomorrow i'm waking up at 6 in the morning so that i can get out nd get my mind of SOMEONE in particular. i miss him so much i think i'm going to just flip. nd the worst bit is that i don't even know if i can trust him. i really want to but i mean i don't at all. just look at him he really doesn't look like the commitment type. nd usually i'm not either but i mean hey, this is different. i don't know about him though. oh well. we'll see then i guess. now he's not here, nd i have like, so few friends to keep me nd my wondering-back-to-him mind off it. cos whenever i'm not doing anything, the first thing i do is think about him. which i mean is obviously really nice but the fact is he's not here. nd he's not going to be here for a long time more. i guess its kinda half way there now. 2 more weeks. 16 more days to go. its going to kill me but i'll survive. woah i don't know how chu sheng is still alive. he nd kai have been away for so long! like, a month already. oh emm jee! i would have died by now. course i miss kai HEAPS ND HEAPS. nd if she was just here it would help SO much. i finally got all our pictures uploaded(: onto my granny's comp though. shit. i'll have to make sure all of them are on my photobucket as well. otherwise i'll lose all of them when i change computers. oh dear.

well one more day till jan is coming home(: all i can do is wait..

2005-12-14T20:29:00.000+13:00

i was going to watch chu sheng's match at tkss earlier. but in the end i actually can't make it.. my mommy. but its aite i guess. i'll go out with him tomorrow. after my dance. nd then i'll meet harry for coco latte. friday going to sas to visit carol&friends. have to wake up at like half six to get there by eight. holy holy. but it'll be pretty cool i guess. going around school with her nd stuff. i'm being so good now. haha staying home even though i don't have to(: yea baby! i miss carol heaps as well. its been forever since i've seen her. mostly been hanging out with seb&jan&kai. when they were here that is. at least for this once i have something to wear. got some stuff in London(: nd i have things to give Carol from there. cute stuffies.

today i went to the tailor with granny to get our skirts for our new years irish dance performance. so hot. haha. nd then we went over to parkway to pick up the dry cleaning nd then went to lunch. we also went to go get thumbtacks at the hardware store near the market.

i miss the 'BOGESAI SLAM.. HAHAHA BALD' thing that i did with Jan )': but shes coming back soon! (: in three days. i can't wait! then hweeli might be back. then kailin will come back. then chu sheng will come back. nd then seb nd the CURRY SAUCE man will come back!......................

nd then school will start

but thats okay. i have fun in school alot of the time i guess. i wonder what the class will be like next year. maybe i'll be surrounded with more people that i don't really know. how sad. oh well. never mind. then i'll just make more friends i guess. then maybe sometimes after school i can go hang out with seb. maybe maybe. shit. eh. we both have training on different days. CRAP. awww. well we'll see about that then. during weekends i guess we can all hang out. Jan&the rest. which includes seb(: mmmmhm!

today Leon, Noel nd i were fighting over mommy.

cos noel said that she wasn't my mommy.

she was only his. which is total bull

it went something like this..

Noel: She's not your mommy! She's only MY mommy.

Anna: Rubbish! She was my mommy 9 years before she was your mommy!

Leon: Yes! And i was second.

Noel: Aww! Its NOT FAIR.

Leon: Yes it is. Just that Anna was born first. But that means she'll die first too.

Anna: EH!! NO. I may live longer than both of you!

Noel: Ya! Maybe we'll get knocked down by a truck!

Mommy: Tsk, Noel. Don't say such things.

Leon&Anna&Noel: TSK. WHY?

thats pretty much how it went down. it was quite funny. Granny laughed when i told her(:

anyways i gota go now. i wana go upstairs nd chase the boys away from the teevee! byee.

2005-12-14T04:24:00.000+13:00

talked to him just now. not going to disturb him for now. he's writing an email so that he can stay in singapore next year. love him so much. pray he does. i was so shaken just now. i don't know what happened. well i'm feeling alot better now. jonathan was being so random just now. like we were just talking. then he didn't reply for a while. then he came back nd was like, ' was doin some pullups' i was like. HAHAHAH double-u tee eff! nd i totally busted my guts. it was hilarious. it really was. or maybe i'm just high. i dono. whatever..

2005-12-13T21:49:00.000+13:00

somebody tell me what to do
i don't know what to do anymore )':

2005-12-12T06:48:00.000+13:00

i've gotten so much better from earlier on in the week. i'm kinda proud of myself. i've got a fucked up punk hairstyle nd i feel like i could take on the world. even though i know that if he were here it'd be so much easier. oh well though. i'm going to have fun anyways. duh. i didn't need anyone for a long time. i don't want it to change now. (: i can still have fun on my own. course i can..

i would kill without my friends
i love them so much!! those who are always there
no excuses
no lies
no bullshit
they're just there. x x

i love them. they give me what i don't have. just when i need it the most(: now how awesome is THAT ?? very i think :D

MACE!! WHOES GOT THE BLING???
YOU GOT THE BLING BABY!!! :D

shit i miss hanging out with you guys. haven't seen you guys for like, forever. i'll give dana a ring nd shit. DOMINO! yea i watched it. haha. i miss you like anything. when you coming back? i haven't seen you in centuries. wonder how manny wrinkles you have now. HAHA. love you so much babe! i can't believe it. where did you get this blog address from? must be that little book jeff gave you before you left yea.YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO US, DOMINO! guchi guchi goooooo! all the shit we did together last time. i miss it so much. x x x yea hunnie! haha.

my new room at home is going to be:
lime green & orange
or i may make it white instead of the orange
or maybe the white instead of the green
I THINK ITS GONA BE HOT
i wana move out with mommy
it'll be so cool just the two of us((:

maybe mommy's room will be
sexy red ooooooooh! x

when kai&jan come back it'll be awesome! the three of us again. they can stay over at mine if i can't stay at theirs (: it'll be so hot. i miss being together with them. i haven't gone out iwht kai alone in a REALLY long time too! i can't wait. i'll pick her up from the airport maybe. i'll just find out her flight details. then i'll go get her. haha. then on new years i have to go get seb nd the curry sauce man. maybe jan&kai&i can all go get them. it'll be like a reunion! SO COOL. ha. awww. i love being with all my friends.!!!! we're like, never all together. nd when we are, we have the BEST time. its so cool! sexy seb(: hot kai(: pretty jan(: nd me. HAHA. AND MR. CURRY SAUCE.!! SO FUN. i guess next year? next yr everyone has important exams. streaming/o levels/sec3

2005-12-12T05:00:00.000+13:00

today i went to harvey norman with my mommy(: we watched beyonce watching her shake her sexy ass on a hot plasma TV. then i met chu sheng for a while. nd we walked around nd cheered each other up a bit. i know that it took my mind off things. hung out with jon sim the other day also. I WANTED MY MOVIE. but he couldn't find it. the asshole. nd went out with bernn on the 6th! I MISSED HER LIKE DONO WHAT LA. nd now she's not in singapore. she's in malaysia. for a bowling competition.!!! GO BERRNN! :D

so tomorrow deciding what time my curfew is nd dono what shit also la. so yea. THAT COULD CHANGE MY LIFE. ha! i've been getting along relatively well with mommy. which is really cool!

i have nothing much to say anymore
just that i'm like, chatting with khairul now
the lucky asshole's in new york ):
I WANT TO GO TO NEW YORK

2005-12-10T07:38:00.000+13:00

i miss sebastian, hweeli, kailin, bernn nd jan oh so much. i don't know how long i'll be able to stand it for. i want to get a new comp. then i can upload all the pictures! nd i can like, have proper msn. woah. to me it sounds like heaven.. but so many people have it.

its kinda weird how everyone has their really bad problems. but they're all so different. nd its always so hard for anyone to understand your problem. cos they're not you. nd they don't know what else you've been through. what your family is like. its so hard for them to get it. then people think that your like, some stupid sissy pussy. its really annoying. its really hard to trust anyone. even family. once you tell one family member, soon enough the whole family will know. it really kinda sucks. just cos they're the poeple who will 'always be there for you' doesn't mean they need to know everything about you, every step that you take.

x x

2005-12-08T04:48:00.000+13:00

Got my hair cut today. I guess its better now. Better than yesterday
Shit. I hope shes not mad. Her mom's a bit crazy i must say.
Sigh. Everything was so fun till like, now. I hope it gets better. Can't get much worse though.

Bogesai. I wish that everything would just be perfect. If she's not going

Maybe i won't either. Ya know. Well he called me this morning. It was cool.

It was good to hear the gay guy's voice again (: Awesome guy i must say.

hes an awwwwwsome guy. trust. i miss him like dono what shit.

Sigh. Oh well, i'm going to go get him from the airport the day he comes back

With Mr. Curry Sauce. I MISS THEM. I can't wait for them to get back from NYC

Lucky bastards. I wonder when they're going to Mexico. I'll ask when he calls. (:

Sigh. She's taking so long. Just wait wait wait. Crap. I think i'll just kill myself

My tummy hurts. I don't know whats wrong. It'll be okay i hope. i pray pray pray

2005-12-07T03:49:00.001+13:00

Today i saw Putu! He's so adorable. Haha! Cutie
I miss my hunny bun oh so much. ): Kailin!
Aww. Today hung out with my old friend nd shit. So cool!
Bogesai.

2005-12-07T03:49:00.000+13:00

Today i saw Putu! He's so adorable. Haha! Cutie
I miss my hunny bun oh so much. ): Kailin!
Aww. Today hung out with my old friend nd shit. So cool!
Bogesai.

2005-12-03T01:41:00.000+13:00

I haven't changed my layout in a really long time.
& i'm planning to but then i never really find the time
which is kinda sad but then oh well yea.

Until your back here baby
Miss you
Want you
Need you so
Until your back here baby
Theres a feeling inside
I want you to know
You are the one nd i can't let you go
_______________________

Its so depressing! I don't want my hunnie to go! I really don't
Sigh oh well though. Nothing much i can do really. Still..
Going home tomorrow. I'm going to miss my room mate here
She was such a sweetheart, she really was. Love her like anything
So alot has happened the past week. Or so.. something like that
Not everything was good. There was a little bit of bad
But it was mainly good :) Which is very good
And i've had access to alot of good music. Thank God.
After that bloody "holiday" in london i needed the rest.
So its been preetty good being able to like sleep in really late.
Which i like never ever get to do. So its really nice. So thats that. x x

He wants me to go the airport since he has so much time.
But how the fuck am i supposed to get there with like, 1 dollar??
The hell yea. But oh well. I really want to. But hhhhoooowwww??
BODO. Damn..

2005-11-25T14:55:00.000+13:00

i didn't mean to fall in love with you
nd baby theres a name for what you put me through
it isn't love, its robbery
i'm sleeping with the ghost of you nd me

2005-11-22T09:36:00.000+13:00

yay i'm home. i missed everyone so much! specially seb, jan & kai
london was pretty cool in the end. had to spend my birthday there
went to tgi fridays nd then went shopping in covent garden with my seniour nd senile scorpios. nd obviously with uncle aylmer too! got stuff at marks nd sparks, zara, topshop, fcuk, h&m. didn't really do that much shopping. em yea nd i got to know london nd the underground pretty well. haha yea baby! then the senile nd i went to ireland nd we visited uncle philipp. nd aunty kathleen.! everything was so much fun. we stayed in dublin city centre. nd granny nd i ate breakfast in mummy's old school.

The Royal College Of Surgeons.
It was so hilarious cos like, we were just walking around the school for no reason what so ever. But there were damn fine lads. So it wasn't so bad. I wanted to visit Chingy there, but in the end didn't get to. I miss him like fuck. OH nd i saw den. He was with his rugby team cos they were playing against Ireland in westbury hotel; I saw him nd i got the fucking shock of my life. So he said he'd mail me the autographs. The guys in the team were super nice.

they snuck me a drink from the bar(:
I miss den&chingy&hweeli! nd i haven't seen jan for fucking long
I just can't wait to see him again :D Missed him so much. Gona see him today!
Going to go visit kai at the restaurant today. She can't hang out cos of her shifts.
& i mean i can't not go nd see her right..
Cos she's my hunny bunny sugar lump puff ball bohoe! uh huh

On the plane coming back from London i was listening to music on the plane yea. And they played "Shine on" & "Shake it off" nd i almost cried! I missed my baby so much yea! I think i was going slighty loola. Everything is actually coming down pretty hard on me right now. Theres alot to do, nd everyone has moved into the house cos we're renovating parkstone. Talking to kai on the phone now. uh huh. :D i feel so happy that i'm home. Everything can go back to normal now.

2005-11-04T04:34:00.000+13:00

today was screwed at first but then it got better along the way=)
walked around bugis so fucking much today man! nd then i ate macs.
HAHAHAHAHHAA. holy shit man. quite funny
nd i went into so many changing rooms nd stuff. i never did go into so many
but oh well yea thats how today went down. didn't have tennis
leaving for london tomorrow. don't really wana go but i guess it'll be nice
flights at 8pm but i'll have to leave the house at about 6. i'm gona miss
jan, kailin, sebastian, bernn nd everyone oh so much! fuck la. urgh
i wonder what airline we're taking. all i know is that its business class.
which is cool cos i don't usually take that. but its all the way to the uk so yea
i'll be going to ireland as well. whats it like?? i don't remember from last time

went to auntie lilians for dinner nd hung out there til pretty late
she was packing to go to shanghai so she told me to make myself at home
she's like, the sweetest hunnie on earth. haha. dinner nd everything was really good
watched pimp my ride, taildaters, wana come in nd all kindsa shit there
it was so comfy nd i felt like staying there for the rest of the night.

but oh well so much for that

=) i wonder how people fall in love
nd how do you know when its th real thing?
like i mean so many people think that they are in love
but then after a while when they get bored or whatever
they realise that they had been lying to themselves
THE WHOLE TIME.
nd i mean like, what the hell is the point of that right
people have there boyfriends...... nd they have their girlfriends..
but honestly; in the future. what are the chances that they'd get married nd shit??
love can seem like such a complicated thing. nd it really is.
it twists your mind, makes your heart jump, makes you feel good
but like in the end what the hell happens?? you brek up nd that the end of it
what th fuck man! like what kind of sense does that make.?!

some people say that everything happens for a reason.
but i don't get it. what is that supposed to mean??
what if the reason is bad. then how is it a reason?
why do people get hurt? what? to teach them lessons?
why can't we learn without heartbreaks, family problems nd school disasters?
i'm sure everything would be equally as peaceful. why not?
why can't we just do that? why can't we all be happy all the time
everyone be with the ones they love, everyone do whats right?
cos noone is perfect i guess
but its pretty ridiculous if you ask me
so if nothing is perfect then why try?
i mean why waste time calculating this nd that when nothing is perfect nd nothing is acurate
for example theres no such thing as a perfectly straight line
cos theres no such thing as a perfectly straight ruler
so why try looking for the reason behind something?? we'll never find the perfect reason
or explaination
or person
or love
or fun
or friend
or ANYTHING at all

practice makes perfect
but if nothing is perfect
then why practice? doesn't make any sense to me..

2005-11-03T00:30:00.000+13:00

today i woke up pretty late
tahnk goodness it rained nd the courts were wet
otherwise i would have missed tennis
then i had to go for juliana at noon
we talked about alot of things so now i know what to do
so now i'm smarter than i was this morning. i mean how cool is that?
then me nd my granny went to muddy murphy's for irish stew
after i came out of the lift i saw carolyn chetwynd
as in like.. my old skating coach. fucking cool la
i was so happy. i was like: yayyyy!! CAROLYN :)
nd we talked nd she said that she thought i didn't skate anymore
which i don't. cos when i skate i skate everyday
nd then other day she went to the rink nd didn't see me
she's so sweet. i miss her oh so much! i can't stand it.
if she went back to coach i would start again! i miss her!

then went for a movie with sonia later on
we watched legend of zorro. at marina
it was pretty good man! i didn't know it would be that good
but anyways its not a bad thing.
it was so near lezaat; nd i couldn't stop thinking of jan
awww. its been 2 days that i haven't seen her nd i miss her like shit
i wonder how i'm gona get through 2 weeks without all my friends
with noone but my grandma, uncle nd auntie. if only i could meet hweeli
but never mind about that since i know its not gona happen
i guess i'll make the best of everything
without jan kailin sebastian hweeli nd bernn
might as well get used to that then
i want to see if i can meet a couple of them before i leave on friday
tomorrow perhaps. :) see if i can go after i go to nike with mummy
maybe she'll allow aye. i suppose she understands that i'd miss them
i really hope so since i won't be able to see them for a fucking long time
especially kailin. she won't be here when i come back plus she's going for damn long
its gona suck so bad, like, i can barely live without these guys with me
sigh i really don't wana have to settle with this but theres nothing i can do
i mean its really cool nd all that i'm getting to go back to london nd ireland
its just that the timing is really bad since its not really the way i wana spend my birthday
with my granny, auntie nd uncle. thats not really how i pictured the topic
the london bit is awesome but then rest isn't all that great
anyways i had better deal with it then. i miss kai nd jan nd everyone!

2005-10-31T09:37:00.000+13:00

its raining
nd i'm sitting at home
alone.
nd i'm crying
i've never felt
more alone then i do now
nd i realise how much
my friends have been there for me
for everything they have said
for everything that they've done
for ever being there at all
i have to thank you guys for it

i don't always show how much i appreciate you guys
i don't always show how much every single one of you means the world to me
how every word you say helps me nd strengthens me
sometimes i think that only my close friends are ever there
sure they are always there.. but so are others.
sarah, lex, rach, thisbe, jess, hazel
janice, kailin, hweeli, bernice. these guys i could tell them anything anytime

but i could always talk to others as well
this year was particularly difficult; having to get used to everyone
having to make new friends, having to learn to love my class
but 1gr taught me so much. it taught me the meaning of

friendship
trust
love
spirit
cooperation
team work
being able to be straight forward

these were all things i needed to know. but noone could help me to realise it
until 1grace2005.
it didn't teach me all these lessons because they had class spirit
or because everyone trusted each other or because everyone cooperated
but because they taught me the imporatance of each nd every one of these traits.
friendship. in one gr everyone had their own little group. i took a while to find mine
but in the end i settled down.

sometimes i would look around nd find things that i have seen so many times before. things that i had to go through like betrayal, broken friendships, misunderstandings. when i saw it this time it struck me how common all this is becoming. how difficult is was to trust anyone even when they had never done you any wrong. i realised the importance of having your friends there for you. for having someone there to talk to. nd alot of the time when i needed to talk to someone is was the people that i wasn't really close to that i could talk to. it may have meant nothing at all to them. but the fact that they tried nd listened, it means so much.

its been a pretty tough year but i've gotten through it.
so many things going on at home nd in school
with friends, family nd teachers. but i got through it
despite of all that has happened. i don't think that it was just because i'm doing the same thing all over again. but i think it was cos all of the people that i was able to talk to. cos of all the people who were there for me when i needed them. cos of all that they taught me. it became clear who my close friends were. but they weren't the ones who understood me. i needed both people
nd i found those people in 1gr. thats all the difference it made this year.

this year i've been exposed to so many things
all the new things i've done all with different people
some with my closest friends
some with my new ones
some with people who weren't even my friends
nd some with my family.
it helped me to grow so much

even though i still don't stay at home nd guai guai listen to my mummy nd granny
i know so much more. i know its hard. nd i know that being my guardian/parent kinda sucks
but i really have been through so much shit; what about making up for all those times.
i love my family so much but they think that i don't care
i love my mummy more than anyone else in the world
i love my granny nd kong kong almost just as much
i love leon nd noel like anything man
but its not that simple, there are other people who i have to deal with
nd no matter what my family does they don't understand me.
if they did they would understand why i do the things i do
its not because of my daddy, or because of what has happened.
get it. its cos i need to get away.
i know its kinda often but i really need it.
you guys don't understand that.

if i'm away for a while. don't worry i'll be safe
i know not to wonder around on the streets late at night
i know how to take care while i'm away
i really do. pls try nd understand.

2005-10-30T18:02:00.000+13:00

today was so much fun
we met at cine; i was 35 minutes early (:
then we went to get the tickets for domino
then we walked like.. from cine to heeren to taka to wisma to shaw nd all the way back
then we sat down at cine outside the arcade on the sofa nd talked
just like we had been doing for the past hour or so.
we talked there until it was time for the movie
we ate nachos with cheese nd sweet popcorn
nd coke of course. i only had mine after the movie though
it was fucking cold nd naturally since i was wearing slippers my toes were numb
then from there i brought my coke nd stuff nd we walked to heeren
cos someone wanted to listen to music. haha no surprise i like doing that too
i didn't wana put the head phones on cos i've had a bad experience with earwax.
so my dear friend listened to gold digger nd was like rapping along
haha i swear it was fucking funny. not bad though i must say. ha!
then after listening we walked to far east. nd i was telling about the thing at mrs fields.
about the caucasian guy who bent all the way down to look at my...... chest

i mean i thought the fucking dude was insane/ nd naturally i wanted to slap him
but oh well. nd my friend was laughing. yea yea very funny.
so we went to far east nd my friend bought ice cream, from this guy who was like, playing with it
nd didn't wana let me take it. haha it was so fuggin hilarious.
but in the we finally got it nd we walked out. it tasted like soy ice cream somehow
i really have no idea why though. it was pretty good. i took first lick(:
nd then my friend had some nd then i had somemore. then i had to go. cos i had tuition
it was loadsa fun! i really was..

2005-10-30T00:36:00.000+13:00

tomorrow going out.

going to watch domino nd stuff =)

that should be fun aye.

i miss 1gr 'o5.. its gone. unbelievable. everything went by so fast this year. like when i think of it its nearing the anniversary of the tsunami. i mean it feels like it was just a couple of months ago; but its been almost a year already! there are so many people that i miss oh so much. halloween is coming. i hope that that will be lots of fun. for alot of people it would be i guess. but now when i ask around i notice that so heaps of other people don't have plans. ah well.. i went to this indian dinner thing earlier on. it was so nice. there was this really gorgeous dancer. nd i thought she was so pretty nd a good dancer nd everything. then the man sitting beside me told my kong kong, grandma, nd i that it was a man! i got such a huge bloody shock la. my gosh.!

my granny to indian man: does that mean he's homosexual??

indian man beside me: no no no! he's just professional.

my granny: ah i see. but of course some of them are right?

indian man: i'm not sure. *laugh laugh laugh* perhaps.. but most of them are just acting

i was in an extremely large state of shock. nd it was a while before i got over it

although it made me think of someone i used to know

today i saw ask him la for the first time at spex. i mean i thought it was a guy right. then scally it was this cute sec one girl. pretty you know. but apparently she hadn't been coming for training cos she had some operation on her ankle. aww. but she seemed pretty nice.

my mummy isn't letting me join uan because of what happened over the weekend. all i have to say it whatever. i mean like.. its something i really want to do. but naturally, as like alot of times before she has no problem taking my drive nd chances away. whatever man. she also tends to leave me with nothing to say except: sometime you really sound like such a loser. not my bloody fault man. she just always seems to be like that. nd then she syas that i never respect her. i do. just not as much as i could. i mean; she's not as respectable as she could be..

sometimes i think guys are such a waste of time
nd then there are times that i think i wouldn't be able to live without them
they're alot easier to talk to than girls sometimes
but sometimes i wish that they really just didn't exist

so that you wouldn't have to fall in love

2005-10-28T23:06:00.000+13:00

everything passed by so fast. like it seems like only a couple of months ago, the tsunami struck. but now its nearing one year since it! i can't believe it you know. it makes me realise how fast time passes. i wonder what funny gadgets there will be when i'm like.. 40 years old. man.. i can only imagine. haha! i'm going to grow old soon. its quite scary.

today was the last day of school
i made debbie cry
i don't know why but somehow i seem to do that to her
she makes me cry too.

2005-10-28T04:06:00.000+13:00

today.. yesterday.. i dono whatever you wana call it kinda sucked.
not going to blog about the whole thing but like yea, its was pretty awful

nd like, during recess we didn't have one of our people for the dance. well like nothing much we could do about that though. the talentime dance isn't finished nd there are no costumes/ unless you consider school skirt nd spagetti a costume. which i mean is completely ridiculous. but i guess like leanne said the whole thing caused alot of conflict nd stuff so just leave it. its quite sad if you ask me. its pretty obvious that this whole thing isn't really going to be that much good. the whole reason we went was to make like, the entire thing better. but in the end all we got was
bitterness.

there was this book fair nd stuff today nd yesterday. there were alot of books that i wanted to buy but didn't have enough money for. plus i owe sarah nd hazel like quite alot. fucking sucks. urgh. right now pretty much everything fucking sucks; nd it seems like theres nothing i can do to change it. which also fucking sucks. wana go out with kailin tomorrow after talentime. which ends at 6. actually 4, but school ends at six cos of the stupid prize giving. i mean whats the point of prize-giving. just give people the prizes nd then leave them alone. i can assure that people would rather go home early rather than stay in school nd have their prizes given to them in front of the whole school.
was texting sebastian earlier on. he's right about the wobbly bits
the way grannys are all pretty naggy
unless they think they're 20 years old
HE only has to wake up at 7.15am every morning for school.
someone, anyone, please.. tell me how the world is fair??

i'm not in the best mood with my mom today. she was being bitchy cos i didn't go for tennis. WELL.. i cancelled it. not like i really had a choice.

today was really hard on everyone in class. everyone got pretty mad nd pissed of at someone. someone. regardless of who it is. i don't really ever know what to say anymore to anyone. its really hard nd i just don't know what to do anymore. talentime is tomorrow; the last day of school. i know someone who wanted it to be an awesome performance. i understand how she feels. i mean its the last day theres EVER going to be a secondary one grace 2005. we might as well finish off with a bang.
don't suppose we can do that now
nd you.. i know what its like. thinking that you need it. last night when i was at your place i kinda needed it too. but understand that it only makes you feel any good for a short while. but then after that, the price you have to pay can last forever. its not worth it. nd although i know what its like, i really do, please don't anymore. jiyin too.
OH. i don't know what i'm going on about anymore.

not like i don't do it

2005-10-25T15:50:00.000+13:00

past few days were alot of fun/
although i guess its not what really matters now

i dont think that they understand how hard it is
to come back to everything after realising what else there is
i love you guys. i really do but i can see your faces everyday
there are others i dont get to see nd i love them alot too
its really not that easy to have to face that afterwards,
its going to be a long time before i see them again
when i can just see you the next day.

so many things have been taken away from me
i know i have alot nd i'm very fortunate nd shit
there are so many people with problems worse than mine
but its not like i don't have any/ getting away
when i spend time with my friends, its like escaping from them for a while
not like i get tot escape from anything very often
when solving my problems are going to create problems for people
thats not very easy to deal with either
i don't want others to be mad at me on my account
i know i cause worry nd everything nd i'm sorry for it

not like i meant to or whatever
anyways i'm going down to the station later

2005-10-23T01:28:00.000+13:00

been spending most of my weekend with jan. slept over yesterday nd tonight too. i just woke her up cos like.. the wind was making the window creaky creaky. its so strong. its like a fucking hurricane man. well like ya. earlier on we went to watch the wig. it was stupid but scary at the same time so like yea. nd um the day before we watched flight plan. itwas a good movie. i feel like kicking that guys balls though, for taking the little girl away. sheesh you know. haha.well anyways today we hung out with freddie. nd phil. nd we also saw david wong, chris yan dn that other guy i forgot his name. hahhaa. ooopsie. but we had a good time:D

freddie was so nice to buy us the tics for chinablack! hee..

been talking to jon qute alot online recently. haha. its quite funny. discoevered a few things along the way too! well i had better go before jon....... jans brother comes back home nd finds out that we're still up. OH MY GOSH! nd like, me nd jan, we were going to have our second one! nd then like.. one broke. so we had to share the last one/ hahaha wht the hell man. not easy to get davidoff you know. shit la.

nd like today at yoshinoya.. WE SAW A GUY CALLED PUTU! so cute man! hahahaha he was so much better than the stupid ugly spaz macdonalds guy. shit. haha.oh well./ i'm gona go now!

2005-10-19T21:04:00.000+13:00

i don't believe it.
he's gone.

why am i in talentime?
maybe cos i want to i can't really tell at the moment. i didn't wana do it cos i didn't wana have to be around HER all the time. i mean like.. why would i right? sigh. hmm then i really like the whole idea of talentime. its so much fun la! so why not. just put up wiht it for a while. even though i know she hates me. whatever la. nd today i had a nice tennis lesson. nd then mr poh sent me home. how cool aye:D yeea. then like i came home nd watched everwood. uh huh. leon lim smsed me. bitch. not like i wanted to talk to him. i mean like.. when he fancies it he just comes nd asks me if i wana chat. then when i want to, he's always busy. what the fuck. no thank you. so me nd kai are going for dance at uan tomorrow. so fun man! OH SHIT. i have tennis at 6! how how how?? i have to go nd sms mr poh. AHHHHH BYE!

2005-10-16T23:20:00.000+13:00

sometimes i think you guys don't know how lucky you are
to have a group of friends who are always there for you nd love you
you seriously don't know.

the sparks light
i breathe in deeply
takes so much might
to let it out slowly

let it stay
let it surround me
come what may
i know it won't help me

i can see the regret
that i know is coming
push it away for now
right now, just hold me

regardless of whether
i'm strong or not
how much more i can take
is a loosening knot

everyday it gets harder
to walk by your shadow
i won't last much longer
my line's getting narrow

this must be it
i see the end
the cigarette that i held
finally drops from my hand

2005-10-16T22:50:00.000+13:00

he doesn't know what i'm going through right now. but even though he doesn't nd even if i wasn't going through anything else he wouldn't have to be the first issue i have. i seriously don't fucking need it right now. why are you so jealous just cos we planned to hang out nd stuff. whats the big deal? dude.. your being so bitchy nd so petty. i mean we didn't even meet up in the end. i seriously used to like you. but now, i'm not so sure anymore.

tomorrow i'm getting results back. not all. i don't even know what papers to bring. i don't know what i'm supposed nd not supposed to bring. like at all. i'm not looking forward to results. i don't wana get them back.
after that might hang with kailin nd then go back to uan for drama. we're gona share one broken one. haha what the fuck how funny. oh well.=) i wana start to feel better. i really do. i still feel like shit now. its so weird. normally i get over this kinda feeling pretty quick.

maybe its the thing with the
love
big love nd
great love
maybe it was great love. i don't know.
i've thought about it so many times. not like anything has ever changed.
or if they have surely not for the better.

2005-10-16T00:19:00.000+13:00

why can't a breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you

its so weird the way i feel now. i feel like everyone is against me. nd i know its my fault nd my doing. i notice that intentions have a way of backfiring on you. the good ones nd the bad ones. the good ones hit you especially hard. nd when someone says your not a good person. it kinda gives you a long deserved slap in the face. i didn't mean to tell anyone. believe what you like. she's the only one. i know i can't talk to you about it. theres nothing i can do now nd i know it. but thats not going to change so i might as well drop it right now. no fucking point saying sorry anymore either. first time i say nd the last time i say it, it still means nothing to you. everything is fucking empty now. i don't know what i'm going to do. i need to get my uan registration in by monday for audition, i'm getting results back monday, tuesday too. i'll be playing tennis. but right now, i'm not up for it. i don't feel like ANYTHING at all right now. thats all i can say.

fuck life.
i'm going back to malboro

2005-10-11T22:40:00.000+13:00

i feel like some kind of fuck piece of shit. someone wana tell me why? sigh. never mind i think i know. i always thought of myself as like.. a good friend until now. i don't know what i did. i feel so crappy nd like such bitch of a friend. i swore to you nd him nd myself that i wouldn't tell anyone. nd then what did i go nd do after so long? i told the worst person i could have told. its a big thing i know. nd its not something to joke about so i don't know if she checked with you nd you denied it or something. cos i don't wana lose her trust. cos i know that i didn't lie about it. i comfort myself with that thought but somehow i don't think that its enough. ugh! i feel like killing myself or dying with all those people in the india quake or something. i don't wana live being a crapped up friend. i really really don't.

tomorrow going out with alex sarah chan thisbe rachel nd jess to watch corpse bride. i finished my exaks today. tomorrow after they are done with chinese i will go nd meet them at school. then me sarah nd alex are going to go play tennis at sicc. then metting the others for the movie at lido...............

since i
lost scissors paper stone

but anyways then we might do a spot of shopping nd i'm gona repierce my second earhole nd i might get a third one too. but then scally get into trouble with school. ahya see first la. haha.

but i still feel bad

2005-10-05T13:50:00.000+13:00

today had first exam..english paper1 nd lit
MY GOSH LA THE LIT POEM SOUNDED LIKE SOME RAPE THING
but in the end it was about some boy walzing with his father!
like what the hell la. ROMPING until the pans slid from the kitchen shelf
sigh. haha oh well. tomorrow is history=) i hope i do well!
i get to sleep in tomorrow. cos they are having chinese exam first
nd then i will come later for the history paper.

my laptop in my room is spoilt. how fucking sucky man!

2005-10-02T15:53:00.000+13:00

leanne can't come with me to michael buble
but its okay i guess. heh oh well.
last night went to church with freddie nd other people
nd then after that we hung out nd had dinner nd stuff
it was pretty fun! haha. caramel latte is good[:mmhhmm
we ate umm.. yoshinoya. so good man! we wanted to watch corpse bride
but then there were no more tickets left. such a waste. i really really wana watch
next we know we should buy the tickets before eating. NOW we know.

exams are in..... THREE FUCKING DAYS. OH MY GOD
but then that also means that they are ending soon
which means i'm going to england soon
which mean i'm going to see hweeli soon
which mean that i'm going to be coming back soon
which really kinda sucks but then all the stuff inbetween is GOOD. VERY GOOD
i'm going to get to go home to london nd ireland where i have been for like years nd years nd years. i'm worried that i might see him. i mean like what would i do. would i just stand there? nd stare. i wouldn't know what to say or do or how to react i mean i haven't seen him in so fucking long. its like a nightmare trying to figure out what it would be like. i don't think i will though. i mean what are the chances right. not so likely. nd i don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. i really don't. which is the scary part. damn it really is.

2005-09-28T09:00:00.000+13:00

having geog now. so bodo.
everyone is playing this little game
BOOKWORM. i have no comment man!
but this kind of geog lesson is kinda fun although the game is extremely dumb
or maybe its just cos i don't know how to play it
i mean i don't play games like this.
haha ALEX JUST DIED. HAHAHHA!
nd today we were supposed to go nd play tennis in the netball court
but then it RAINED nd its soaked. haha ppoooot.

HWEELI IS ONLY COMING BACK IN DECEMBER.
but its okay. i'll get to see her before that [:
UH HUH UH HUH. okay i'm gona go study now. or try.

2005-09-26T20:57:00.000+13:00

monday. today was charlotte's birhtday=)
yay i have to go get her a present. i don't care i have to
today played doubles with tiffy k, sarah chan nd lex
in the end half way through me nd tiffy went to eat our hor fan
cos sarah nd lex were just hitting to each other so like ya. oh well
then there were fried dead ants on the netball court. HAHA so cute
tomorrow have to bring racket again but i don't see the point
since like half the time i'm not playing anyways. ah whatever i guess
maybe i'll get to play a bit more tomorrow. i dono. somehow i doubt it
its like that all the time. then they ask.. 'you don't mind do you?' sigh. no.
RIGHT

i've been thinking about the way
people always get hurt by love
i mean like if theres love.. enough of it
there wouldn't be hurt.
that means: there isn't enough love

which i have to admit isn't very good
nothing is really very good now. the only thing is that, nothings going wrong

2005-09-25T23:43:00.000+13:00

looking at your picture from when we first met
you gave me a smile that i could never forget
nd nothing i could do could protect me from you that night
_________________________________________________________________________________
slacked around the whole day listening to music nd stuff then had tuition at 5.30pm
chatted with hannah nd ber for the first time in a long time
its aazing how much i miss my darling ber nd hweeli nd kailin. nd jan[:
WE'RE GOING DOWON DOWN IN AN EARLIER AROUND
ND SUGAR WE'RE GOING DOWN SWINGING
I'LL BE YOUR NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET
A LOADED GOD COMPLEX COCK IT ND PULL IT
haha listening to sugar we're going down. don't know why really. hehe.
nd william was being bodo today. i don't get it man. haha oh well.

2005-09-25T06:45:00.000+13:00

love, it's just meant for others,
there's no love in life, only sorrow,
world full of darkness and tears.
hope, it's just meant for others,
there's no hope in life, only pain,
world full of sorrow and despair.
life, it's just meant for others,
there's no life for me, only death,
just to die, fade away, like I would have never been.

thank you for taking it all away
making me hide to myself again, trust noone<3

2005-09-25T06:01:00.000+13:00

today i helped mummy get leon to the swimming competition.
which in the end he didn't swim in. my poor poor baby!!! mwa mwa wa
i'll kiss his little baby sadness away! i love him lots!

then went for tuition. which was its usual fun.
with the small barker boy nd snob nd cheryl nd ziying.. nd me[:
AND AILING THE FUNNY MATH TEACHER WHO CAN'T DRAW FOR NUTS!!!! bodo.lol
but all in all didn't really do that much today. oh well........
-i missed hweeli nd bern nd kai so much just now. i was crying. nd i made the collage. cos i know that i can't ever live without them. since primary one(me,kai&hl) nd me nd ber since p2. now we're all in different schools, leading such different lives. like, so close yet so far. in november i'm flying to england. i'll see hweeli there since i can't see her in oct when she's here. or maybe there could be ONE day where the four of us got together nd stuff. i've been listening to 'we believe'by good charlotte the whole night. i don't know why. i love it so much. it makes me miss them somehow. it makes me cry but i can't stop listening to it. i don't know what to do. i feel so alone. like theres noone.
-lex called earlier. she made me feel alot better and everything. just before that i had missed her loads as well. i made a picture. it says I <3 LEX. nd another one that says YES I DO. they're nice. but i still miss all my friends.

<3I ain't neva had nobody show me all the things that you done showed me
And the special way I feel when you hold me
We gone always be together baby that's what you told me
And I believe it (Cause I ain't neva had nobody do me like u)
LIKE YOU/-ciara&bowwow

its driving me mad
i feel dillusional
caught up in a whirl
make it stop

my hatred flowing out
i swear i could kill
listen to me shout
make it stop

images running through my head
more like memories now
i feel the pain that i felt then
please, make it stop
__________________________
i think ive sunk into a great depression
i just wana make this right

2005-09-24T04:28:00.000+13:00

i found this sticker in a loo in boston. NICE

june holidays[: yeah baby!

on the phone with my darling lex now[: my my i love her. hahha!!
oh so so much. listening to music. ahyo. anyway i better go

2005-09-23T17:20:00.001+13:00

in english now. mr teo is briefing us on oral
blah dee blah dee blah. haha oh well i'm online
he just said condensation instead of conversation. alamak
he's damn weird can. haha oh well. anyway he's pretty much done
i think la. haha apparently our oral marks are going to be chopped in half.
thats nice. don't you think that that sounds nice. yeah baby.
i really reall hope that i do well for my oral.

and i feel really bad about last night cos i made jonathan go all the way down to katong to go nd like confirm with sean that he got the stupid chef scholarship thing. which in teh end he didn't which is a good thing for jon but not such a good thing for sean but like yeah. anyways..i felt really bad. but i'm so proud of jonathan for being such a good good boyfriend. but he did make me feel like shit at the same time. ah whatever.

2005-09-23T17:20:00.000+13:00

2005-09-21T23:26:00.000+13:00

ITS A SHAME WE HAVE TO DISAPPEAR
NOONE'S GETTING OUT OF HERE TONIGHT.. THIS TIME

today played tennis in school with sarah chan[:
she was so nice about me not being very good. hehe
then i just came back from tennis lesson.
it was a very good lesson man! mr poh says i'm moving fast
yeah baby! haha this rocks.tennis is heapsa fun.
well at least for now. haha when i really start training hard ah.. lol
it'll be very very different i'm sure :P heh.

well today ms tan went through our history paper HINTS
and i was so proud that our class was like the QUIETEST!
how awesome is that. i think slowly we're getting better yeah
maybe all of us are growing up. uh huh. its about time la. but its good
i have mr ang soon. at 7 at mummy's house. its time to work for a while
EXAMS ARE SO FREAKISHLY SOON MY GOSH! i'm actually scared now.
even though now my grades are getting pretty solid. except science :[
thats why i'm having science tuition at 7. lol yeah. so i hope it works.!

2005-09-20T15:15:00.000+13:00

Everything I dreamed about
Everything that I talked about
One thing I can't live without
I wanna get closer to you
Can't stand being far away
Knowing that you don't feel the same way
Questioning bring tears to your eyes
[: if you were mine
marcos hernandez

yesterday i realised how SICKO mr teo was.! hahahah man!
and i also realised how much mr jeow was like jonathan (sim)
and also that ms audrey tan steps in shit and jumps around and swears.
AND how close the exams are. MY GOSH YOU KNOW.!!!
i think from now on i need to commit myself to studying ALOT.

I GOT A FRICKIN SCRATCH ON MY PHONE LA!! WHAT THE FUCK. i was damn pissed.
but its very small and its at the back so not too bad la. sigh
now the laptop in my room has internet connection. finally dude.
don't have to wake up in the middle of the night to sneak down and use the comp
later on i have tuition at simei. i wonder if the barker boy and daniel and ziying and the others are going to. i dono if they are. poot. but i have to cos i skipped the other times. so i guess i'll see. so anyways i have to go and study and do homework now. and eat[: so yeah.

2005-09-18T19:42:00.000+13:00

reply to tags

HARRY:thanks harry! so is yours. [:
JIACHING:it was planned as in like he wanted to. yeah! and i miss you okay. sms me. new number. i'll message it to you on friendster. i just asked sean for your number. apparently he's not ignoring me anymore.
MARK:love you too baby!!!! lol.

somehow it took me very long to do this.

2005-09-18T17:01:00.000+13:00

haven't been blogging much
i got a new phone nd a new number[:

anyways having tennis twice a week now
wednesdays and thursdays! how fun man! haha

yesterday like after norman i went to jans house
we met din and nick at cineleisure after stuffing ourselves with chicken
so then when we were supposed to go and meet him at the top of the escalator. but janice HAD to pee. and naturally we can't go and meet him first. so he called me and then i told him to hold on cos jan needed the toilet to pee. and then she got mad at me. but then not really. so he said never mind he'll come up then. so after jan was done...... (she didn't even pee in the end) we were walking out and then met din. and nick. who jan didn't like very much. neither did i but mean jan like.. HATED him. then in the end we couldn't really get a movie which we liked cos it was so packed. so we ended up watching sound of thunder. which in the end wasn't so bad.

after that we walked out and everything and jan wanted to go home cos the nick dude was freaking her with something about saying that she'll roll in and dono what shit la. i felt kinda bad that we hung out with them such a short time.
anyway after that we walked to far east taxi stand from lido cos of the long long qeue there (lido) but it was really long. so we were lazy and waited there for a cab. meanwhile my mom had reached jans house. which meant trouble.
AND i had no change to give my mom cos i payed for jans everything. ahyo

alamak. anyway mr ang is here so i hv to go[:

2005-09-14T21:51:00.000+13:00

alex had to go home early from school today cos she was sick. poor thing!
but then if she's sick and i see her in school tomorrow i'm going to slap her.
I'M GOING TO LONDON! ON THE 5TH NOVEMBER.
okay so its for my uncle's graudation but so what?? [:
i'm still going for it. and not only that but i'll get to see HWEELI!
we won't have to wait for years to come. we won't! i miss her and i don't want to wait anyway so whatever, i'm just so so happy. i smsed her london number and she said to call her and then when i'm there she'll bring me shopping! cool!

of course i'll have just arrived on the day of my birthday
and i'll be tired and sleepy and jet lagged. and have no presents..
but oh well.. hweeli will be my present. and going back there! its been years!
going with granny. i don't know if kong kong and mummy are coming
somehow i don't think so.
i dono. whatever. i am.!

today after school i haad tennis. when i was coming home mummy called me
nd she said that she bought me sunk kueh to eat either before or after
i was quite happy with the RESULTS OF THE LESSON
i've improved alot. and mr poh made me catch the reflex ball.
WHICH IS A MAD BALL THAT BOUNCES IN EVERY DIRECTION nd he says that next week he;s going to bring a smaller, harder ball for me to catch! so scary man
then after tennis i came home and ate the whole packet of sung kueh while watching tv with noel and leon. we watched ripley's believe it or not.

this guy walked down the steps of te world trade centre
on his hands.
down one hundred and then floors
amazing! then after i had tuition with mr ang ss
stupid man. weirdo!

AND CLEMENT IS WEIRD MY GOSH. SICKO! HAHAHA

2005-09-11T19:08:00.000+13:00

jan and i were like together for 3 whole days.
i went over to hers
stayed over that night
that night she stayed over
then today she left at 4.30pm
COS I HAD TUITION

haha yeah baby! it was so much fun. we found a hot guy
and we bought stuff! and everything was so much fun

I LOVE HER SO MUCH MAN! JAN MY DARLING SISTER

2005-09-10T15:21:00.000+13:00

me and jan[: mwa

me and jan in our C.I.S. uniforms[:

RETARDS!

this is what me and jan do when we have like.. nothing to do. haha after buying and boughting stuff. so much fun man! and the whole video clip and stuff! woooohooo!

I LOVE MY SISTER JAN!!!! [:

2005-09-09T19:49:00.000+13:00

how hot is that[:

2005-09-07T12:30:00.000+13:00

kailin came over yesterday[:
we were like searching through friendster and stuff
after that we went to town
we bought new guess wallets!
and nike wrist bands from WORLD OF SPORTS in taka

then we wanted to go watch the longest yard
with the lao shis
then we kena go and met chu sheng
in the end the lao shis went to watch march of the penguins
in chinese.... i'll save the comments to myself.
so me and kai watched the longest yard
IT WAS SOOOO GOOD! MEAN MACHINE!
yeah baby yeah, but sadly caretaker dies ]:

after that we walked around. alot.
and i ate some bread thing and floss bun from bread talk
mmm. yummy, man!
then we walked around somemore and then took bus 16
to my home.
we went to play tenis at csc where i saw JOAN again
how random. and we played for an hour. so fun
haha. then mummy brought HTWO-O and nasi lemak
and we munched and munched.
then kailin went home and i went to granny's house
this morning had tennis lesson.

mr poh says he wants me to go for tournament next year!
haha fun[: yeah! but of course thats next year. HAHA.
and i got a blister........... mr poh says
that its cos i don't squeeze my racket hard enough when i hit
now i know. =D

2005-09-06T01:41:00.000+13:00

ME AND JAN[: yeah baby
i love janice my baby sister!

today ryan came over.
and we went BOWLING[:
then we walked to parkway
where we met my mom halfway so she dropped as at parkway
where i saw..... JOAN!
well anyway yar, we went up to the arcade and played the dinosaur game
and air hockey. which i beat him at as well
COS I BEAT HIM AT BOWLING TOOO! =D
then after, we went to burger king to eat!! mmmmmm
i had

mushroom swiss double MEAL
nd ryan, being the smart one, got

BBQ turkey bacon UPSIZE meal.
which in the end he couldn't finish the coke.
tsk tsk. what a waste. then i felt like eating more!
so i bought fat free coconut ice cream from SCOOPZ
while we were walking home it dripped all over me too
we passed by sean's house. apparently he was in the newspaper.
ryan told me so[: haha

we came home nd played silly computer games, nd looked through friendster

then we played tennis
and ryan whacked 3 balls over to the neighbours house.
i whacked 2

after that we drank HTWO-O
nd then went for the church thing at novena
mummy dropped us there
i shall not say what happened after that[:
but janice is very nice indeed!

2005-09-04T13:17:00.000+13:00

last night went to mephitos last dance
with debbie&jiyin&jovel&er.&my tuition friend
and some other person that i don't really know
i saw bren there
and alot of random random people that i knew

like douglas

and some random sec1s that said they knew me.
hmmmmm. okay[: and douglas was being very strange
but i think thats just a guy thing
maybe, i don't know.
we sat upstairs first. and then we all went downstairs.
i sat inbetween douglas&debbie
cos douglas found us seats at the 2nd row[:
then like in the row BESIDE our was like all the sec1s.
who actually looked like sec3s nd 4s but were sec1
and they kept popping their heads out and STARING AND LAUGHING
haiyoooo.
so strrrrange

brendan had to leave during the interval. so much for staying out late[:

then after the whole thing me debbie&jiyin went outside
then like after jovel had gone, coeway went running after her!
so sweet man! we were like'GO COEWAY'
then we walked out too and we saw them. SO CUTE MAN!

my GOD THERE IS SOME GUY LA. AND HE'S LIKE TELLING ME TO PICK UP MY HONE COS HE WANTS FUCKING PHONE SEX THEN HE'S THREATENING ME LA. WHAT THE FUCK CAN. PHONE SEX...... I DONT HAVE PHONE SEX YOU HORNY LOSER.

2005-09-02T18:10:00.000+13:00

i feel so empty
filled with nothing
clouds, dark skies
hear the rain falling

cold seeps in
runs down my spine
cars racing past
take too much time

nails screeching
against the table
feel my heart
i feel unable

music plays
i do not hear
lyrics run
into my ear

curtains flap
strong wind blows
i'm all alone
but noone knows

____________________________________________________________
just felt like it
so i wrote the poem
was watching mtv upstairs
i watched the music videos of
'you&me'
nd 'bellydancer'
brought back so many memories.
i feel so stoned, like i have nothing to live for
i don't know what i want to do
i don't kow how i want to feel
i haven't felt this way in a long time
ever since.. THAT incident

but i'm over that but i'm feeling the same way
this time its because of losing something else
and its draining everything out of me. everything

2005-09-02T12:59:00.000+13:00

i'm in the school lab now using pretty IMACS[:
they are so cool. oh yea baby yea

i can't believe what sean told jiachin.
i mean its like so not true.
i would never do that
i mean it was like planned but then in the end nothing happened.
haiyoo.. i don't know how already la. its quite weird.

2005-09-01T13:49:00.000+13:00

COME MR DJ SONG PON DE REPLAY
COME MR DJ WON'T YOU TURN THE MUSIC UP
ALL THE GYAL ON THE DANCEFLOOR WANTIN SOMEMORE WHAT
COME MR DJ WON'T YOU TURN THE MUSIC UP

pon de replay[:
oh yea baby yea

yesterday was teachers day celebration
how fun

2005-08-31T00:49:00.000+13:00

i know that i have already posted and stuff but then i really have nothing to do now so yea this is what i'm doing

chatting with kheng now. haven't talked to him in damn long. so like now catching up sort of.
feels very weird though finding out all these things that have happened over this long time.
some things are quite cool to know. like how he's one of the smart ones in the grouyp of them,
knowing that some of the stuff really doesn't actually makes that much sense and isn't that cool&stuff.
not bad. i'm impressed.

anyways talked to alot of people tonight.
mark, doug, mr. yeah baby yeah, kheng, jonathan sim, hweeli, samson, adele, gibson..
had heaps of fun talking to mark especially[:
MY DARLING BRAIN JUICE PARTNER
the guy that takes away all my brain juice to study for his o levels
but its okay. he can have it for now so long as he gives it back whne its my turn to study for finals. which he always does.

i never understood before
i never knew what love was for
my heart was broke my head was sore
what a feeling

tied up in ancient history
i didn't believe in destiny
i look up your standing next to me
what a feeling

what a feeling in my soul
love burns brighter than sunshine
brighter than sunshine
let the rain fall i don't care
i'm yours and suddenly your mine
and its brighter than sunshine
SEAN AND HWEELI'S SONG[:
THAT I CHOSE FOR THEM. LOL.

how odd don't you agree. i know i do.
but it really is perfect for them!!!! [;
but now i have a craze with PON DE REPLAY

i found this:
PASSION
you touch my soul
i lose control
LOST
with you
inside this room
KISS ME
over and over..

its quite random but i thought it was quite nice
not really like something i would write but then it depends.
sometimes my writing style can be like that if i am either love sick or sad about a reltionship
which i am neither now. thank goodness.
maybe i should write something now and just type it out. be spontaneous[:
okay well here goes.

unfair life
torn apart
strip by strip
its like an art

okay actually now i'm very tired. think i will go to bed and then continue with this tomorrow. oh yes i will thats what i'll do.

2005-08-30T19:26:00.000+13:00

sigh. well that was all i'm going to be seeing of hweeli
MY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD MAY I MENTION
for a while.

not allowed to see her anymore. sucks shit
at least now she has her darling boyfriend sean[:
lucky her. haha. good guy she's got there ahh.
both of them have very good taste i must say.
OH YEAH.

but i'm going to miss hweeli like noone's shit
sigh. oh well. i'll justhave to deal.. and wait.
poot. not that i want to but yea oh well.
not like i have much of a choice. have to go get my stuff from her place soon ]:
i'm going to miss half living at her place. so so much

i keep hearing OUR SONG now
I MISS SINGING IT WITH HER<3
nothing is the same anymore without yaking and gossiping with her
bitching and buying and fooling around
having HOT LESBIAN SEX IN THE PLAYGROUND TUBE
making fun of stupid gerard dominic
watching awfully scary movies together
drinking our lovelay bacardi breezers and rasberry vodkas that kailin spews all over heeren
losing her olympus digi cam at gotham thanks to me the merlion
taking pictures of our asses underwater while yoda barks at me like i'm a robber

NOTHING IS THE SAME

life no longer has the same essence as it did before.

its so different now even though it hasn't been long

knowing that i can't see her again

my mom asked me if she could come to my tennis lesson tomorrow, but she can't

my mom asked if she wanted to stay over tomorrow, but she can't

1. my grandma

2. her dad

____________________________________________________________

this whole thing sucks so bad.

sean&hweeli<3

and

anna&hweeli

it was both..

but now its one

sean&hweeli<3

ot a bad thing but they always say.. the more the merrier

all those times.

teachers' day is tomorrow[: the time to celebrate and show our apprciation to our teachers

how fun. oh yes. i got

"I LOVE YOU" bears

for ms tan and lao shi

and red pens for the other teachers.

making all the cards now.

went to julianna toh today. and then she said that today she had friends watching us

i was scared so i hid behind the pillow while i talked to her.

after a while she went to talkto her friends and she said that some english guy said that

i was thoughtful and reminded him of his irish god-daughter.

HOW COINCIDENTAL DON'T YOU THINK

he said that the way i wrinkled my nose when i said no reminded him of her

i thought that it was very random.

which it most certainly was.

but oh well.

then after that me and mummy drove down to parkway to go buy teachers' day presents

and then after i got everything i met mummy at ICHIBAN[: for yummy chicken katsu!

mmmmmmm. tomorrow i have tennis

finally. its been so long since i last played! my gosh.

oh well i had better go now. gota like study and stuff. FINALS ARE SOON!

2005-08-26T15:52:00.000+13:00

baby baby
oh my baby
NO CAFFEINE ROOT BEER
<3

i have to go for my skating lesson soon. okay well in a while.
i think that my skating really has deproved alot after the gym comp.
i honestly stopped like way way too long.
the other day somemore frickin missed my tennis lesson.
laster hweeli and the rest are coming over to stay[:
its gona be awesome. fucking awesome. oh yea!!

i NEED to get my mr&mrs smith back.!
i miss it
oh so much..
yesterday did so much cleaning! i think i nearly died. and then after that cooked INSTANT NOODLES. for the whole family. damn good right. wa i'm so kind. my gosh yes i know i am.
going to get my line back soon. same number and everything. i hope that i have my important numbers. actually i remember all the important ones[:

today mr jeow was being very strange
but for him thats just normal
not my fault

AND I THINK ITS REALLY COOL THAT HWEELI HAS FOUND HIM
THEY'RE GOING TO BE REALLY AWESOME TOGETHER
if they get together
WHICH I REALLY HOPE THEY DO. AW
and i know this one is real. i can feel it. and so can she. i don't know about him though.
last night talked to hweeli and sean like the whole night
and i got really scared cos hweeli seemed really really sick
i thought she was going to die cos she was like crying and everything
and i was really mad when by the time she said we could come over it was like 3.
and i had to go to school. please laaa! sigh.

SHIT CAN.
HWEELI NOW SAY SHE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO COME. AHHHH!
AHYO I BETTER GO NOW.
PLUS MY MOM IS BEING ALL WHAT AGAIN BECAUSE I DIDN'T HELP HER CLEAN THE HOUSE.
I'M NOT A FUCKING MAID PLEASE.

2005-08-25T18:59:00.000+13:00

THIS SONG JUST REMINDS ME
SO SO SO MUCH OF THAT NIGHT
like seriously.
ahhhhhhhH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

with hweeli and them. omg!!
SHIT THE FUCKING DANCE
THIS SONG. UGH!!

but never mind. shit.

2005-08-25T16:53:00.000+13:00

ahyo brad and dave. never mind[:
FORGOTTEN
haha oh yes they are.
that night with hweeli, sean and the rest was damn fun can! haha woohoo! except maybe the phone bit. both times. why ah whenever we go out someone loses their phone. very funny. oh yes it is. but its not good. getting a new line soon. THANK GOD. yepp.

i know someone who is a very bad boyfriend
actually 2 people who are very bad boyfriends
tsk tsk tsk.
terrible terrible

2005-08-12T14:09:00.000+13:00

OH MY GOSH
its frickin set la
he really did it
this is bad bad bad

he is not allowed to touch ANYMORE
AT ALL.

sick, young and UNVIRGIN]:
tsk tsk
i'm so disappointed in him
just any girl that OFFERS can right
ew
this is really bad no joke
and its freaking me out
just like it did that day
and he still dare to..................
then AFTER that tells me.

MASTER DICKHEAD

2005-08-08T10:49:00.000+13:00

yesterday was jonathan's birthday
he wanted to go out with sean.
fine...................... thats just him
i have plently of people BEGGING to go out
hmph!

my skating dresses arrived! yay!
cool [:
purple, pink, and blue.

last night was eventful.
i did something i never did before. oh yes.

from now on i will:
worhsip the Lord with all my heart
show my love to Him with everything i can

oh yes thats what i'm gona do
I WILL MAKE HIM PROUD

i LOVE carolyn.
she's my darling.
carolyn carolyn carolyn.

2005-08-07T00:07:00.000+13:00

un fucking believable.
i actually planned coming online
just to be the first you know..
whatever.

nothing ever works for me
why should this be any different